Sunday, December 11, 2011

So I Talk To My NFL Diary (Week 14, 2011)

"Dude, the ink on his divorce hasn't even dried yet."
"Man, lawyers should get pens that don't bleed as much because it seems like the amount of time it takes for divorce papers to dry is completely unacceptable."

11:26: Yeahhhhhhhh buddy! I just made the drive from Cambridge to the Cape in like an hour and 5 minutes while abiding by most of the traffic rules. Super pumped. I'm not working, Pats are on in a little bit, I am hunngggggover. Hahaha, so let's get right to the pickeroos.

The Best Team In All Of New England (sorry Bruins and Harvard basketball) (-7.5) vs. The Formerly Boston Redskins: So Fred Davis and Trent Williams conveniently start their four games suspensions today, effectively ending their seasons. The Pats' pass rush has actually been decent to really good this year, and Andre Carter should probably have a bit of a chip on his shoulder playing in DC (thanks for just giving him to us by the way). I mean I know we give up 300 yards to QBs who have never won a start in their careers, but in no way does Rex Grossman frighten me enough to think he has enough to beat us. Davis was a HUGE part of their lineup, and they seem lost without him.

Their defense is one of those that can keep them in the game, but the thing is that there is not a human being on Earth or even any kind of cyborg/android/whatever that can cover Rob Gronkowski. He just cannot be stopped. So even if they try and take Wes away (which they will attempt but in no way have the ability to hold him down all game), you're still looking at Gronk over the middle, and if that was enough, Deion and Hernandez could easily go for 100 yards in any given game...and did I mention we have a legit 4-RB rotation...oh...and one more thing...

Tom F'ing Brady y'all!!! Haha.

Baltimore (-16.5) vs. Indy: Indy nearly pulled off the most miraculous comeback in the history of the league last week, when the Pats inexplicably stopped playing football and Dan Orlovsky and Co. were bombing on our secondary. So that worked last week...the problem with playing Baltimore is that they have the ability to put 40 up on Indy, and they also have the ability to shut them out, something our defense doesn't have. So, yeah, good (Andrew) luck with that Indy.

Green Bay (-12) vs. Oakland: After a few close calls, you definitely want to put up an ass-kicking here Green me, I'm seasoned in the ways of undefeated teams (by the way, their best chance to go back to back winning Super Bowls is to lose a regular season's terrible to lose, but you probably want to lose one in the regular season as opposed to the playoffs...because it's a sucky feeking when that goes down).

Detroit (-10) vs. Minnesota: Again, no Adrian Peterson for the Vikes...although Detroit is without Suh and Fairley on the D-line, I'll take my chances vs. Toby Gerhart.

Tennessee (+3.5) vs. New Orleans: Riding the hottest player in the league right now (Chris Johnson) and, as if Pats fans needed to hear it again, we have the Saints' first round pick next go Titans!

Philly (+3) vs. Miami: Okay, so everyone is healthy for the Eagles now, and I mean at some point, they have to make a statement game saying they don't completely suck right?...These teams have the same records! Haha, really Philly? I mean I know things haven't broke your way for the most part this season, but they're Miami bad?...I have to give them one game here, even though Vick might be rusty, and who knows how much he's going to want to run after just coming back from a rib injury that sidelined him for almost a month (doesn't that just breed so much confidence in them? haha).

Houston (+3) vs. Cincinnati: Basically, you have two even teams with Cincy getting three points for playing at home. Yes, no Andre Johnson for the Texans, but they continue to find ways to win without three of their top players (Johnson, Super Mario, Schaubie). This has 21-17 written all over it.

Atlanta (-3) vs. Carolina: Love Cam Newton, but Atlanta needs to take control of the wild card with Cutler and now Forte done for the year in Chicago, and the shitshow known as the Detroit Lions who are wobbling to the finish line like I stumbled home last night, and the night before that...

and the night before that...jeesh...

The Bucs (-2.5) vs. The Jags: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I dunno if I believe entirely in Josh Freeman right now...having said that, after last week, I'm so not picking Jacksonville...even the Colts would give them a game.

Niners (-3.5) vs. Zona: Zona needed two miracles to beat Dallas last week (how great was it when Jason Garrett iced his own kicker? hahaha). The Niners seemingly are out to dismantle everyone in this division when they play them.

Denver (-3) vs. Chicago: Picking against Tebow just doesn't work.

San Diego Super Chargers (-6.5) vs. The Bills: Yeah not happening Buffalo.

The G-Men (+5) vs. Dallas: Both teams desperately need this, and you should spot the Giants like 10 points because this is Dallas in December. Also, are you serious with a Hakeem Nicks/Victor Cruz (ZoooooooooMass!!!)/Mario Manningham receiver trio? And a Umenyiora/Tuck/Pierre-Paul trio on the D-Line? This team is frightening if they are banging on all cylinders.

Seattle (-10) vs. St. Louis: Hahaha, how did the Chris Myers game get on Monday Night Football? Ohhhhh man is there gonna have to be nothing on for me to want anything to do with this game...having said that, Marshawn Lynch is on tear right now, so that could be enjoyable.

1:01: Alright, we're about to kickoff in DC. Watching the game at a bar with my Dad, so we'll see you for the second half most likely. Leaving the Army/Navy logos in the end zones at FedEx Field is amazing by the way. Take care everyone.

2:58: Oh my God Gronk cannot be stopped!!! Warn the town the beast is loose!!! Hahaha. 27-20 Pats. Yeah, 27-20...why is this game so close? Again, letting inferior teams hang around is just unacceptable...and having said that...GRROOOOONNNNNKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!! 155 yards and 2 TDs!!! Simply unbelievable.

Elsewhere around the league, Jake Locker is in the game in Tennessee...I'm telling you, the Saints did not want to see him in this game. Panthers all over the Falcons, so apparently they didn't get the memo about grasping onto their playoff chances. Detroit killing Minny off of two defensive TDs, and the exact same can be said about the Jags scoring 28 unanswered points with two coming off of fumble recoveries for TDs inside the 5 yard line.

3:05: The secondary continues to be porous at best. Santana Moss for a first down at the Pats' 30...yikes dude. Grossman with 190, and Helu knocking on the door of 100.

3:07: Complete and utter bullshit personal foul call on Vinnie Mac for making a tackle on Evan Royster, who was on the ground, but was untouched, meaning he could get up and run. Vinnie hits him with a forearm, they call it a head shot because their helmets touched on people, it's football...that would have been a shitty call in field hockey man (for the record on BS calls, that's now two against us, one against owe us another one refs!) Helu now over 100.

3:09: Once again, we can't control play action inside the 5. Grossman gets his second TD to a wide open receiver to tie the game up...again. I'm baffled by how bad our secondary is playing. Also, despite scoring a TD on a sack in the end zone, the pass rush has been extremely inconsistent today. Rex getting this much time to throw is ridiculous...he's getting Orlovsky time here.

3:19: In case you needed a reminder of how great our offense is, there you go...that a Dub-Step I can get down to! Wes Welker in the house y'all! 34-27...what a freggin' crazy game!

3:23: Blue Royster Club sightings in DC today. Amazing. They went from Torain/Hightower to Helu/Royster, and they're probably better on the ground now than they have been all year.

3:26: McCourty with another nice, what a journey he's had today. He's gotten burned by both Jabar Gaffney and former friend to the red, white, and blue club Donte Stallworth, but he's made some great plays (including a pick that got taken off the board...see: bullshit calls).

3:29: Another reception for the dubster...oh yeah, remember Wes Welker? Yeah, he's only leading the league in both receptions and receiving yards...yeah buddy.

3:33: Wow, just a terrible play call on third down running the ball. I love the Firm, I've advocated he should get more looks...but not today. We're just smoking them in the pass game, like we don't even need to show them anything else.

3:40: McCourty with another break up. Edelman, our starting outside linebacker/slot receiver/return team tackle machine/return man extraordinaire, brings it to midfield.

3:45: Hernandez lighting it up. Woodhead having a terrific day. Down inside the 5.

3:47: Pick in the end we've thrown away three touchdowns today. Now the Skins are driving with the run game and the pass game seemingly both working out. Two horrendous defensive efforts, with DC's going a little more under the radar considering we should have close to 50 points right now.

3:53: Around the league, Jacksonville continues their onslaught on Tampa. Atlanta has come back in a big way and currently holds a one point lead in Charlotte. Jake Locker, J.P. Losman, and Joe Webb are currently QBs for their respective teams. Locker is tearing it up, although the Saints still hold an advantage. Joe Webb has been tremendous leading the Vikes all the way back to within a TD.

3:56: Continuing to let the Skins stay in this game. They (DC receivers) have been sitting down in the middle of the field against our zone, and we're getting crushed every single time. Jabar for another first down. This game should have been over hours ago.

4:03: Ohhhhhhhh huge offensive pass interference penalty on Santana Moss negating a TD. We are down to the nitty gritty. Pats up 7 with the game on the line!

4:05: MAAYYYYYOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! It looks like there's no evidence to say he didn't catch that ball. I'm thinking interception here, and if so, we may escape Landover with a win.

1 comment:

Tv on Web said...

Hey watch the positive part, at least you have enjoyed the show!