NFL Draft: Hour #1

12:02: That pre-show montage totally sucked. Troy Smith? Yamon Figurs? I mean how much were these guys asking for to appear in this spot?

12:03: Booing Keyshawn never felt so right for Jets fans. I'm looking forward to this.

12:06: Look at Brady Quinn tear up that Washington defense. Love that ND schedule.

12:07: John Madden is afraid to be on the cover of Madden cover because he is going to be affected by the curse...basically meaning he will die...again, Vince Young is cooked.

12:09: Goddell is way more personable than Tagliabue, who basically looked like he was subconsciously going "the teleprompter is way too far out there" and "where are we again?"

12:12: We had our first TV difficulties regarding digital cable (Wright sat on the clicker, temporarily pausing the TV...and we flipped...I just hope he is able to recover from this).

12:13: I say Oakland stays on the clock for eleven minutes. They already know they're getting Russell, yet they need face time to say "hey, we are the absolute worst team in the league."

12:16: There is no one left at ESPN. Apparently someone else thought this was a big deal.

12:19: Keyshawn's first slip-up: "He's a guy whose physical like Randy Moss and myself."...Randy Moss?! You want to talk about a guy who has absolutely no physicality. He doesn't even go over the middle.

12:20: Who is JaMarcus Russell talking to? I mean really, he seemed like he was surprised to go #1. Calvin Johnson was looking up like he could go there. Doesn't anyone notify these guys?

12:22: Beer #2

12:25: Is Calvin Johnson happy or sad? If he's happy, is he happy he's going to the Lions, or happy they are like "we're drafting you, but you're not staying here."...Oh thank you! Thank the Lord!

12:27: The Bucs are trying...trying, but the Lions want #4 and both the Bucs' second round picks, meaning Johnson is officially stuck in Matt Millen hell for the next five years.

12:29: We will say "the pick is in" after every single pick (by the way, there will be a venue change at around 5:30...this is going to get interesting, because I don't know where I'm going.

12:31: The official word on Calvin: "Hey, at least it's not Oakland."

12:32: Cleveland is going to make a homer pick with Brady Quinn. And there goes the franchise.

12:34: They velcro the name onto the jersey. See, that's interesting, because on the one hand, you got the name on there, which is nice, but on the other hand, it looks like s***, so I'm not really sure how to fully interpret that.

12:36: Spurrier on the Under Armour commercial: Outstanding..."Yeah, click clack." Show that a thousand more times please.

12:37: Interesting note: the Jags were in the top 10 in both offense and defense, yet finished 8-8, which brings me to my original point: Don't schedule the Patriots.

12:38: Joe Thomas on the "Foxey Lady" has officially taken over has the most awesome thing that's happened today, replacing...I don't even know.

12:41: And finally, a shocker. Joe Thomas has been rewarded for not showing up, going to Cleveland at #3. Good for him not breaking a tradition with his Dad though. This guy is one of the true "locks" of the Draft in my opinion...good for 'dem!

12:43: Is Arizona really taking Peterson now? I like the whole two-back thing, but I mean come on now. You have Edge and absolutely no line. They need to trade down and get Levi Brown, or get someone...anyone for Leinart.

12:46: Tampa's phone has to be ringing off the hook. And they might get Peterson? What?! This is a time where they need Gaines Adams.

12:48: Brady Quinn is going to Minnesota or Miami, but the questions are not going to stop. Very reminiscent of Aaron Rodgers, but it's not going to be as severe...but I really wish it was. I mean that was nice.

12:51: I really like how Gaines Adams is trying to bring the "lines on the side of your head" back into play. I mean I would have done it, but no one really follows the jersey/beat-up hat/basketball shorts look, so I'm not sure if I'm a trend setter or not.

12:54: This was a riveting talk about how we, after four years, can spot someone attempting to hand out fliers, and then, planning the walking route based on that. Forget boxing, flier avoidance is the "sweet science."

12:57: I am so clueless about who 'Zona is going with right now. Mark May is liking Levi Brown. Finally, something we can agree on (that guy is the Tim McCarver of college football...ugh...)

1:00: And we've ended hour #1 on a bright spot. Michael Smith, who has always been a great writer for the Globe, is now getting a bunch of face time, which is awesome because he's completely biased, and he is actually bringing up the respectability that Michael Holley shunned.